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Bollywood Movie -Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (KANK), 2006

Should you not be familiar with this movie, please have a look at the following website for some reviews:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449999/plotsummary

This movie went a bit beyond of what we are usually used to see in Bollywood movies. However, many messages in it from which we can learn!

Lessons to be learnt:

• Don't forget important events of your husband, e.g. if he participates in a soccer game. So, ask how it went.

• Don't forget your wedding anniversary and celebrate it with your spouse.

• Get married only if you are really in love with that person. If you just feel friendship rather than love, then stay away from getting married to this person.

• If your kid is participating in a game or other competition and fails in it don't say "idiot" to your kid.

• Don't force your kid to do something because YOU love it. Let her/him decide what they would love to do. So, don't impose soccer on your child if s/he prefers to play the violin.

• As a mother take time off from work to assist your kid performing in something, e.g. soccer game. Put the career second, both parents should be there! Don't wait until your child tells you "you never come". Don't even think about compensating your absence with an electronic gadget!

• If you go somewhere with your kid, don't say things like: "If you go away, I slap you!" Don't use this kind of language.

• Hold your child always by your hand if you go somewhere, so that you don't lose her/him out of sight. It's easy to be lost.

• Take interest in your kid's hobbies. If your child plays an instrument, make sure you know what instrument s/he plays. How embarrassing knowing that you play the violin but actually the mother thinks the guitar …..

• Don't criticize your husband's clothes. (SRK's original sentence: "New clothes are not going to make me new!")

• If you ask your spouse a question such as "What would you do if I would have an affair?" Don't make jokes about it. Make sure it really doesn't happen. If you say to your spouse "You can't manage one relationship how are you going to manage two relationships" be careful because in life you never know if this might turn into reality!

• "If you have to love, love NOW. If you have to forgive, forgive NOW. If you have to hold hands, hold them NOW." (Amitabh Bachchan) Tomorrow could already be too late, life is sometimes short. How pity if this person would suddenly die … s/he would have never known.

• Don't look in your spouses flaws in a marriage, improve your own flaws.

• If you are angry with your spouse, don't vent your anger out on your kids and become aggressive.

• "A relationship cannot grow just by sleeping with each other . It can only grow when we embrace each other's sorrow and happiness. A husband and wife don't just share a bed … they share their lives." (Abishek Bachchan)

• It's easy to slip in a marriage but difficult to keep control.

• If you don't love someone, leave that person. Don't keep this person away from his true love. An incomplete relationship will not bring any happiness to anyone.

• Never miss a moment to tell someone that you love her/him. Sometimes we realize this only once we already lost the person and then it's too late.

• "Happiness can never bloom in the shadow of lies".

• Don't cheat on your spouse/partner. There is no point. Just disappointment for all people involved. (If children are present even more disgusting.)

• Don't lie to the person you love. Admit how it really was if you've been kicked out from your house. The other person might be in the same position as you are.

• If you don't love your partner/spouse part. Don't stay together to make the other person a favour or because of your kids. The foundation of a marriage should be love, if that is wrong then the relationship will not last.

• If you would like to add some other lessons you learnt from watching this movie, I would appreciate it, if you would let me know.

Thanks.

Karin Schroeck-Singh